Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
