You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sext me about skeletons
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
