loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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