he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
