last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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