operation harelip BJ is a go
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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