but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
