Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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