i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
