and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
