My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
