So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
