P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
