I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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