But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
