So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
