is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
