Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
3pm strippers are depressing
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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