Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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