I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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