Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
