Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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