Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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