I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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