i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
