Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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