I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
