Barsexuality is the new black.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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