oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
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Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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