If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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