last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
