Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
