How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
