Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
