Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
