I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
