It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
