I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's never too late to be topless.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize