You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
