well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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