I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
