just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
