how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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