just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
