So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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