I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
