I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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