awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Are we still banned from the library?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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