Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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