just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
