idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
