his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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