The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
