Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
