drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im holly from the hills drunk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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