Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
