Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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