Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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