Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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